Hi everyone,
As you can see I've been extremely busy and haven't written in a VERY long time. Here's a little update and some Charley's Angels Toy Drive thoughts as well.
Charlotte started kindergarten this fall, Jacob is now in 4th grade and Alaina is in 7th. I can't believe how much the kids have grown and changed in such a short time. It always feels that kids level out and then have ages where you see rapid changes in how they look, talk, and their intelligence level. I think all three kids seem to be in big growth spurts right now. Alaina looks like a 15 year old girl when she's dressed nice (and not in her usual leggings, sweatshirts, broken nerd glasses, with hair in a bun as seems to be her favorite;). I am loving watching her grow and enter this new phase of teenagedom, she's such a good student, and gorgeous inside and out. Jacob is doing great in school and obsessed with his Xbox games and chatting/spending time with his friends. Charlotte is her usual spirited little sprite, singing constantly and loving playing dress up games on the tablet. She calls it "getting styled";) She is LOVING KINDERGARTEN, and her teacher Mrs. Smith. It was so funny because she came up to me recently and said "Mrs. Smith" (meaning her teacher) but I just looked up and said "yea Charley what's up". She immediately knew what she had done but also understood how my answering to "Mrs. Smith" made sense too, she was cracking up at herself, it was funny that she picked up on the humor of it. She continues to be hilarious in nature and it's hard to discipline her because she rationalizes her attitude/behavior so convincingly, lol.
For those of you who don't know we moved in October. We are living in a lake subdivision down from Sylvan Lake. I love the neighborhood, it has a lot of older, smaller homes with city lots but the architecture of the neighborhood is very cute. We will now have beach/boat access and the neighborhood has a very community feel to it. I think the family member who won out the most on the deal is Ellie. She now has a fenced in backyard and romps around all day outside when I'm home. Her and I often go for walks around the lake and she gets her Bernese Mtn Dog show prance on and smiles the whole time. She turned 1 this past weekend and I will try and post pictures of how big she's grown. I haven't weighed her lately but she's got to be close to 100lbs now. She has been on a shoe bender lately (grr) and I swear she is constantly hungry but she's so sweet and loving her negatives tend to get outweighed by her cute factor.
Lot's of changes in our lives, I FINALLY finished my pre-reqs and was accepted into the nursing program (YAY). I just finished my second semester, (i.e. why I have been so absent from my blog writing, and everything else for that matter). Granted it's still early but I am absolutely LOVING this experience. I am still working as a PCT in Southfield, on midnights (YAWN). I think this is by far one of the hardest careers to have, but,, I never leave feeling like I don't ever want to do it again. I love the dynamic nature of it and of course helping people in whatever way I can is the biggest bonus;) lol. I had my first OR experience recently and while it is nothing like TV surgery it was still very interesting to watch and definitely sparked my interest. I think the hardest thing about becoming a nurse is going to be deciding what to do once I have some experience under my feet. I'm interested in forensic nursing, pediatrics, surgery, and I'm just getting started.
Okay so enough about us, onto Charlotte. It's been so long since I've written, which is evidence that things have been rolling along pretty smoothly with Charlotte's health. She has graduated to clinic visits every 4 months instead of 3 which two years ago would've absolutely terrified me. Her last appt was two weeks ago and Dr. Blake said that her heart function is almost near the low end of normal, so we're inching along. The best part is the obvious improvement even I can see on her echo's. When you used to look at her giant heart, it seemed like flabby jello the way it contracted and relaxed. Think of pressing on jello and the jiggle radiates through it (sorry only analogy I could come up with at this minute;) Our hearts should be strong and muscular so when it contracts and relaxes it doesn't appear to jiggle or have extra movements. Her's now looks stronger when it cycles through, not perfect, and still BIG but better, definitely better. Her doctor thinks that if her next appointment is good we can probably go to 6 month appointments (YIKES, that makes my heart flutter a little;).
She's growing, playing and while still can't run/or majorly exert herself without eventually getting tired (sooner than other kids her age) she is holding her own and I am so proud of her attitude. At her last visit she was SO EXCITED to take her portable EKG to school and show all her friends. The tech gave her a copy of her EKG and some heart coloring pages for her class and I swear it took everything inside of me not to BALL my eyes out seeing her showing it off to her class. I have been a mess these first few years, and yet she just keeps on chugging along with the same happy, bright positive attitude. So I think I'm finally able to take her cue and just enjoy life, enjoy the journey as much as possible. Granted with some pity parties in between still;) lol.
It helps that I have made myself so busy that I don't have a lot of time for pity parties anymore. I don't have a lot of time to sit around and be afraid we're going to lose her someday. I have a greater appreciation now for the days we are given, especially after losing my friend Jon this past summer. He lived in California all these years since his HS graduation days and I'd only see his family when they'd come home. My kids have always loved seeing his kids though and we'd take the kids to the beach on Lake Huron or chuck e cheese. I have his funeral card and picture on our fridge, it literally was one of the last things packed when moved and one of the first things to go on the new house fridge. I need it there to remind myself that he's gone, it's so easy to forget because I didn't see him all the time, and then I get slapped in the face when I have a few minutes to focus on reality. He left behind his family, a wife and three young girls, I know they are strong (his wife's a nurse so that's gotta count for something) but I miss them, and wish I could hug them in person, or had time to at least talk more or visit once in awhile. I miss him, he was another big brother to me. Always willing to help our family, always intervening between Mom and I's teenage fights over the phone, haha;) I think one of the reason's I loved him so was because he never expected anything in return, he just was there for me whenever I needed him, there for us when we needed him. And we tried to return the favor as much as we could. I have to believe that saying "god takes the good ones early" or whatever it is. He is a great one. I find more and more that I have come to accept the reality that "sh#@)" just happens. I don't know why Charlotte got sick, I don't know why Jon died so young. So I hold onto the fact that someday I'll be made to understand.
I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas, or Holiday of your choice. Remember to be kind when you're out there struggling through the snow, traffic, lines etc. You don't know what pressure's the person adjacent to you is facing this season. Try and take a deep breath when you're feeling stressed or frustrated and focus on the big picture of what really matters in your life. I know it's hard but we need to be more tolerant, more patient, and give back to others more than we take for ourselves. I am still doing Charlotte's Angels Toy Drive for the Children's Hospital Foundation so if you'd like to donate you have until Friday the 20th. I have been so incredibly busy (literally chicken with head cut off crazy busy) that I haven't promoted it as often as I normally would. Yet my cousin Jenna got her employer at On the Dunes on Haggerty Rd involved and if you bring a toy to donate for Charley's Angels they will take 10% off your food bill and apply it to the Children's Hospital Foundation along with the toy. It is a great opportunity to give something special to the kids who are in hospital right now.. I am so thankful for all of you who took it upon yourselves to carry my pea sized mission on when I've kind of been unavailable this year. I imagine the next time I have an echo they are going to tell me my heart is 8 sizes too big as well, not because I'm sick but because of all of you who are so supportive of us and have been these last four years!! THANK YOU! Words can not do my gratitude justice.
Merry Christmas and Love,
Courtney
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